Don't keep it all in

Despre cum scrisul si cititul sunt bune ca painea calda

2011-11-09T13:47:00.001+02:00

Cred ca de multe ori scrisul este cel mai bun medicament. Cum ar fi sa mergem la doctor si in loc de medicamente sa ne prescrie scrisul? De exemplu:

- Buna ziua, ati putea sa-mi dati ceva de nervi intinsi la maxim?
- Absolut! Fa-ti un jurnal si scrie-ti toate of-urile.
- Mmm, pai si daca mi-l gaseste cineva si il citeste?
- Atunci fa-ti un jurnal online ca sa scapi de un stres.

Ce tare ar fi nu? Un fel de placebo doar ca in loc sa ingurgitezi un pseudo-medicament, scuipi afara un of/ un gand/ o traire/ o aspiratie/ o fabulatie. Si zau daca placebo-ul asta nu face bine si aproapelui. Vorbesc in cunostinta de cauza: una din modalitatile de relaxare ale neuronului meu este sa citeasca un blog. Si uite asa iti vindeci nevrozele si pe ale altora fara sa mai afectezi si alte organe/parti ale corpului.

For the passionate driver

2010-08-27T14:30:00.000+03:00

Sadly, there are less and less good things to say about Romania. However dissapointed I would be though, I could never deny its goodies. Here is one of them: The Transfagarasan Route

The Homo Randomus' Guide to Whateve': a step by step, ooo babeh, to quiting smoking

2010-02-10T15:44:00.003+02:00

Big step: you realize you should quit smoking;
Back step: you think you are not able to make it;
Right step: you wonder whether you need specialized help;
Left step: you realize you don't have the money for it; smoking is (incredibly!) cheaper.
Front step: your ego awakes: why should you need a specialist in the first place; you didn't need one when you started it!
Huge step: you know you can do it! they all know it too, but they secretly wish you would fail so that they can feel better; well, how about you feel better for once? Engage sleeping beauty aka determination.
Cheerful step: dance of joy together with your long missing determination; it feels damn good, isn't it? Hello!
Trembling step: you throw the rest of the cigarettes and realize how much money you would have saved had it not been for these evil, evil little devils.
Astonished step: it hits you there and then: the world looks different when smoke is gone; Is clear now:
Jump of joy: you made it! And you traded smoking for determination.

Here's to all jumps of joy that are still to come! Aaaand the song of the day

2010-02-10T13:29:00.007+02:00

The Homo Randomus' Guide to Whateve'

Acknowledgement

Come on guys, no need to thank me!

Motto

Sharing stuff is the surest way to plagiarism, not to appreciation; thank goodness human beings are masochistic optimists and self-conceited altruists.

Preamble

Because practice is to theory what an image is to words;

Because, as a Romanian, you are taught to fi(n)gure practice out of theory and not the other way round;

Because, still as a Romanian, you immediately find out that the above mentioned oh-so-very-hard-thought learning pattern fails to reach its goal more often than not;

Because you are sick and tired of long and elaborated how to's which take a week only to read;

Because, let's face it, this is internet so you shouldn't be surprised if this is another random crap;

Because I am a woman and I just cannot shut up;

And, of course,

Because is for free (at least 'till I find a publisher... yeah.)

Author's considerations
I know, I know; you don't need to spit it on my face. You hate me. I know this because like you, I hated the sickening lucky bastards before me who, not more brilliant but definitely faster than me, had worded and turned to profit ideas that happened to cross my mind too.
Curious as I am, I've always wanted to know how it feels to shut everyone's mouth and to see the shift in people's perception when it comes to my own person; something like: "I hated her before. I double-hate her now!"
So don't be sad or depressed or something. Be patient and wait your turn.
This is it for now, my hamsters, but I will supplement this in the future as I feel appropriate and truthful to my ♥

Oh, yeah, almoust forgot. This virtual(ly impossible) book is (i guess) a 90% parody, 10% reality guide to all sort of more or less useful things. In case you were still wondering arround like a copper leaf in the autumn air.

A.D. 2010: Happy New Year!

2010-01-07T19:07:00.003+02:00

Happy New Year to all good people in the world!

Happy name day to all Ion, Ioan, Ionuţ, Ioana, Ionela and other derivatives!

And last but not least, Happy 1st Birthday, my toddler blog!

And now enough with the sugar and let's get to serious business*

*says me, munching a banana, in loose outfit, with partially dried hair and a mixture of gin and peach juice at my left; and a big, fat glass of water to feel like I'm already checking items on the resolution.

Saint Nicholas, Santa Claus, Christmas Tree, Christmas, Carols and Romania, my friends

2009-12-29T18:02:00.006+02:00

A few weeks ago, me and my Good Doctor had a discussion about Christmas. Of course, we ended up fighting like a cat and a dog that we are. A classic example of a good discussion turning bad and of a bad thing turning into something good. As I didn't have all the answers to his questions (and boy, did that make me angry!) and realized, once more, that I still have so many things to learn, be them basic or not, I started a little research on this topic. As you can easily guess, the story is long and can become boring or too much for those unfamiliar with its details. So, that is why and this is how the long story goes short:

- Saint Nicholas was a real person, born in a wealthy family, in the 3rd century, in a village pertaining to nowadays Turkey (but back then, to Greece); raised as a Christian, after the death of his parents, he dedicated his life to God and to helping the ones in need. He was made Bishop of Myra and became known for his generosity and love for children. Due to his religious believes, he was imprisoned by the Roman Emperor Diocletian. He died in 6 December, 343. This is how this date become the day when Christians celebrate him. On December 6, Romanians also celebrate the people that are named after Saint Nicholas: Nicolae, Niculae, Nicu, Nicuşor and Nicoleta (for girls).

In Romania, Saint Nicholas (Moş Nicolae) is eagerly awaited by children as well as by grown-up children (what?!), even though he is an authoritarian figure. He always brings the presents on December 5, in the evening, and leaves them in your shoes, which, by all means, have to be clean! If you don't receive anything it means that Saint Nicholas was simply too busy to arrive to you; too busy with other kids, younger than you; so you, as an older and thus wiser kid, will understand it and will not get upset on him. If you find a stick, usually wrapped in a shiny foil, or potato or onion skin, it means you've been a bad kid! Make sure, next year it won't happen again! But if you've been a good one, then behold the goodies; it can be anything, from gingerbread to a sledge, from an engagement ring to a Maldive vacation, from health to even kids! Whatever you deserve.

- Santa Claus derived from Saint Nicholas. The Dutch, founders of New Amsterdam (the nowadays New York) brought with them the tradition of Saint Nicholas who, in Dutch, is called Sinter Klaas. Sinter Klaas became Santa Claus. John Pintard, who founded the New York Historical Society in 1804, promoted Saint Nicholas as patron saint of New York, in remembrance of the city's Dutch roots. Washington Irwin, made reference to a jolly Saint Nicholas in his "Knickerbocker's History of New York" published in 1809. In 1820, artist Alexander Anderson was commissioned by John Pintard to create the first American image of Saint Nicholas. Due to cultural changes that too place in time, Saint Nicholas became Santa Clause, a more cheerful, pipe-smoking, white haired and bearded man, dressed in a red suit. The present image of Santa Claus became popular due to a series of Coca Cola advertisements illustrated by artist Haddon Sundblom (tststststs, aaalways, aaaaalways Coca Cola).

In Romania, Santa Claus(in Romanian, Moş Crăciun) comes on Christmas Eve (in Romanian, Ajunul Crăciunului), December 24, and leaves the presents under the Christmas tree (in Romanian, bradul de Crăciun). Children and grown-up children (like I said, what?!) can find them in that very evening or in the next morning, depending on Santa's timing and child's level of curiosity. Just like Saint Nicholas, if you don't receive anything, at least be wise. But you don't receive bad things for being bad this time. Santa is too jolly and forgiving, plus he thinks Saint Nicholas already made the point clear. Ho, ho, ho, ho.

On December 25, Romanians also celebrate people named after Christmas: Cristian, Cristi and Cristina, Cristiana (for girls).

Notable for Romania is the replaced, by the communists, of Moş Crăciun (Santa Claus) with Moş Gerilă (Old Man Frosty) in an attempt to erase the religious meanings, relations and backgrounds.

- The Christmas Tree, although of pagan origins, symbolizes life as it stays always green; plus is nice; and smells nice; so why not let the tree stay where it should and go and buy a fake one?! A symbol for a symbol! How symbolic!

In Romania, Christmas trees can be found in the open markets or at the supermarket approximately a couple of weeks before Christmas. Most of the people though, would buy one in the week preceding Christmas and would decorate it during this week or even on December 24; this is why most of them are grumpy and annoying in this specific day; cause they are tired and stressed; cause they do everything on the last minute. Also most of them prefer the natural one (who wouldn't?) but exactly those that fall under the "most" category don't prefer to plant another one in return.

- Christmas is there to commemorate the birth of Christ, so is a Christian holiday. It is celebrated on December 25 by means of a common agreement as this day is not known to be the actual birthday of Christ. Countries as Russia, Ukraine, Republic of Macedonia, Serbia, Georgia, Egypt and the Great Patriarchate of Jerusalem celebrate it on January 7 (such countries use the Julian calendar as opposed to the Gregorian one).
In Romania, (I don't know how many of) the eastern orthodox followers (the majority of the population) practice the Nativity Fast, a period of abstinence from the body pleasure, humility and repentance. Exempted from these "rules" are the ill, the young, the elder and the nursing mothers.
And of course, after all these food restrictions, behold the pork (all sorts of pork home/supermarket-made products), ţuică (traditional Romanian alcoholic beverage made out of plums) rachiu (like the previous one but made out of any other fruit or cereal except plums), cozonac (a sort of sweet bread filled with walnuts/Turkish delight/poppy seeds/raisins; very much like the Italian Panettone except the shape) and many other goodies.

- Carols, are basically songs about Christmas and everything related to it; they can be sang in the period of fasting, before Christmas and especially on the Christmas Eve;
In Romania, carol singing is still practiced. Usually children (from the same block/neighborhood/family/school class or just friends) but grown-up children as well, group together and go from one home to another to sing carols. Carol singers are regarded as announcers of the birth of Christ and rarely the doors they knock remain closed. Children normally go to all the homes in their neighborhood, even if they don't know the ones living in there. Those who receive them, listen to their carols and at the end the children are given money and goodies. Grown-up children normally go just to people they know (usually relatives and friends) and they are not given money (doh!) but just goodies, be it alcoholic beverages, non-alcoholic beverages, sweets,or food (most of the time from all these categories). They are likely to come starting with when it gets dark and ending in the morning (kids normally go to bed by midnight though). If, by any chance, you do not want to open the door to carol singers, make sure no one knows you are home; you'll be severally judged, otherwise; unless you are not a Christian, and then is fine, of course.

Abruptly, but

The End

No more Lady Marlboro 3

2009-12-29T16:43:00.003+02:00

Disclaimer: As per Disclaimer under the No more Lady Marlboro 1 post

Make way, cause here I come with all my 10 nicotine-free weeks. Imagine how much space I need and how I am like a diva in the middle of my HUGE sparkling-clean weeks which are cheering for me:

"awe, awe awe-some,

awe, awe, awe-some!"

Yes, yes that's me in the middle, have no doubt peeps. You can call me Lady Awesomeness and if you have a pen I'll scratch something for you; like

"Something

from Awesomeness Herself"

And since everything is so awesome, am not going to tell you that:

- I still dream about smoking; not day-dreaming; I can't afford that.

- I still gain weight; life is so cruel; eye for an eye; *tremblingvoice*and I'm so lill.

- I still have a transit issue; small, but is there.

- I still get mad fast; like lightning; apparently this was not due to smoking; pffff

Because if I'd tell you I wouldn't seem so awesome anymore; and I wouldn't be positive anymore; and, look below, at my status, I just started to think positive!

So instead of telling you all that crap, I will tell you that:

- not smoking feels great; no, not great, awesome!

Status of my smoke deprived existence:

Clean for: 10 weeks (see how big they are? I told you!)

Also quit: whining (not good; it blurs my awesomeness)

Started: to force myself to think positive (that's where all the awesomeness in this post comes from)

Practice: patience (God, please, if I cannot like it, let alone love it, at least let me just bear the thought of it; please; I ~~desperately~~ need it; please)
Kilos: 3 kg gained; (and even this is awesome; ~~not~~)

How do you feel?

Merry Christmas world

2009-12-24T21:18:00.001+02:00

Willingly sharing my Christmas tree with those that love these trees

and especially with those that would love to have one.

Merry White Christmas everyone.

Business letter to Santa

2009-12-24T00:20:00.009+02:00

Dear Santa,

Don't worry, I constantly forget that you constantly forget to deliver my presents. This is why I keep on writing you letters (also to track the number of times I've been bullied, but this is just in my head, I'm not saying it out loud); only that this time, it crossed my mind that maybe you don't find my letters appropriate. Was I too familiar? Too...not mature? So...unprofessional? Ok then granp...I mean, indeed Mr. Claus ,following is a draft list of our wishes with the relevant technical specifications:

- peace of mind; not as in I don't give a f*** anymore, but as in I love the world-the world loves me.

- guts; not as in I bet I can hit my head on the wall, but as in I can and will eat this world alive.

- health; not as in restart PC, but as in reinstall Windows (note the reference to the software, not to the hardware!).

- patience; not as in, I waited, I got it, now shove it back in your a** but as in I waited, I got it, and I didn't get to hate it while waiting so d*** long for it (see all the previous times when items were overdue)

- open-mindedness; just because is never too much and to demonstrate that yes, you can appreciate it while you have it, and yes, you can be aware that this is a gift not all the people were blessed with.

- energy; not as in am too busy for you stepper, but as in I can step so fast on you stepper that you'll transform in a treadmill.

- love; small, huge, shy, insolent, rational, mystical, risky, mushy, early, late, dripping, pouring, explosive, implosive, bored, playful, mature, childish, daily, nightly, hidden, all over, giggling, mad-driving, lazy, pushy, sweet, bitter, respectful, reckless the description being comprehensive but not exhaustive.

(in ~~other~~ words: just give me my good doctor; he knows just what to do)

Do not hesitate to contact us should you need further details. We are open to discussion and we take this opportunity to thank you for your support.

Looking forward to your answer,

O. Carina

Ro-Mania Project Manager

I've been good. Ravishing good. So irresistibly good.

Bow down, mister!

2009-12-23T22:29:00.013+02:00

Have you watched the Slumdog Millionaire movie? I did some time ago, and I just loved it. Dave Patel is so genuine in Jamal's skin that he's...he's perfect. I cannot imagine anyone being capable of replacing and doing a better job than him. However, this post is not dedicated to dear Dave, though maybe I should have one since am THAT fond of him; or better said of him as Jamal; Soooooooo, going back to the movie, there is this interesting thing that happened. A lot of people I know and that had watched The curious case of Benjamin Button, refused to watch the Slumdog; in their opinion, (not a humble one in my humble one) Benjamin was so good and deserved the O statue so badly that they simply couldn't accept any other movie being capable of raising to its standards; as Slumdog went home with an army of Wowscars, people revolted and decided they want revenge. May a slumdog stay where it belongs: in the slum. Now, I haven't seen Benjy, hence I cannot debate over this and that. But one thing is sure: am glad I saw this one before the other one because maybe I would have had the same reaction as they did (neaaaaaaah).

As a curious cat that I am (meooooowwww) I absolutely needed to read the book that inspired it. Need I say I love it? Not sure yet if I love it more than the movie (I have yet to finish it, but am close) and it doesn't even matter. The delight is there to stay. Dave Patel too. And Boy George (what do you mean who's Boy George????? ... you .... ahhhhhh, this new generation! so full of Tokyo Hotel). First he (not the Tokyo Hotel! Boy George, for heaven's!) was small, so small that I was not sure what is he doing there. But then, as I went on with the novel, he grew louder, he grew stronger. He is so there now, that if I just glance an eye at the book, or touch it by mistake, he goes:

Of course I heart Jai Ho. But aaja, aaja stays with the movie, while hare Rama, hare Krishna stays with the book. Wonderful. I recommend them all. If you're like me, of course. If you don't know me, read my description in the upper, right corner. If and when I bother to put it.

2009 in an entry

2009-12-17T10:50:00.006+02:00

I always have this annoying impression that time goes by uneventfully. This must be one of my many distorted perceptions. I know very well that I am not a good example of active, outgoing, social, hyper, cheerful person but there sure are things that I do and happen if only for the fact that I exist. I wanna write them down so that I can contemplate an image closer to reality. It doesn't mean I'm not forgetting something. Anyway, my highlights are:

Dec 31/ Jan 1 - New Year's Eve party @ the restaurant

Glass braking at 12 for good luck

At the end of December 2008 I was so stressed and depressed that didn't want to hear of any beginning, party and people. But managed to pull myself together and fiercely fought against the gloom; so went out shopping and bought a knee-length strapless navy-blue dress (adjective order is a nightmare!] to match my blues and in the same time to summon my cheerfulness leftovers. A bitter-sweet beginning is far better than a sheer bitter one, n'est ce pas?

January 17 - Swedish Massage/Reflexology final exam

Yes, yes, a bit to the right

One morning, somewhere in May 2008, I woke up and I knew that I just have to learn massage. Never before had I give it a minimum thought. Best decisions I've ever taken are the morning ones. Morning as in waking up early in the morning, opening the eyes and visualizing the thing I want to have/do or, the opposite, the thing I want out of my life, or simply a change of attitude, feeling towards someone. Am not a momentum person; except for these moments.

February - not like a fish, but still enjoying water

Decided that exercise and change of scenery will help me relax after an awful and tiresome (and always, always so incredibly hatable) start of the year. Indeed a fortunate decision. Bonus: the incredible feeling of swimming while enjoying the view of snow covered hills! It worked for half an year.

February - massage time!

( __|__ )

make it smaller, pleeeeeeease

Started practicing the anti-cellulite massage. I find it challenging and rewarding.

March 8 - Woman's Day party

e meneaito, e meneaito, e meneaito

I don't understand why do we have just (or almost just) women in these parties? Who on earth can come up with such an ugly idea? Must have been an ugly woman.

March - one step closer to Egypt

Wish I didn't come back

As I felt I could no longer stay away from my pharaoh, I bought myself a plane ticket (unfortunately, not a one way) to Egypt. This washed all the previous trouble out! Before my very eyes, the world was turning pinker by day.

April - you don't full me

too bad is inhabited

I convinced myself that the people working in the Egyptian embassy in Bucharest are more confused than I am. Every time you call, the answer to the same question is different. Possibilities abound in the no man's land.

April - Easter party without rabbits

who needs drugs?

Alcohol can cure a cold faster than antibiotics; and is healthier too.

May - may I?

I just can't figure it out

For some strange reason May is foggy in my head. May I just skip it then?

June - @###$@!

in fast motion

In words, that means stress, hyperventilation, excitement, impatience and shy joy. June was basically a month of preparations. Finishing everything before vacation: clearing work at the office, idling massage, putting things in order at home, buying the things I needed to take with me, meeting friends before my departure.

July - my favorite time of the year - Cairo

!honk-honk!

I am always on blues before going anywhere; and stressed of course.

A taxi, train, bus and plane ride later I arrived in Egypt. As before, in the middle of the night, on a suffocating heath, the first thing that welcomed me was the sticky, almost liquid air of Cairo; and then the palms; and then the airport with its joyful officers and this time with a body temperature check too; and then ... nothing else matters.

July - my favorite time of the year - Alexandria

if you understand what I mean

I can accept and cope with a crowded Cairo but not with a crowded Alexandria. Beaches for me equal relaxation, day-dreaming, as fewer clothes as possible with the minimum level of self-awareness and comfort zone. Alexandria is everything but capable to fulfill this expectation. However, I am referring strictly to the public beaches.

August - reality has never been so unfriendly

in and out

Back to a cloudy Romania. Back to everyday life. Back to a non-user-friendly reality.

August - ready, steady, massage!

where the magic begins

Bought my portable (if you are a relative of Hagrid), peach massage table [again this adjective order!don't just sit there, correct me if and where am wrong] and started the therapeutic and relaxation massage besides the anti-cellulite one. Medicine for my soul.

September - company party

paganish

Had a nice time with my work mates at an outdoor party organized by our employer. Bonus: a good, old camp fire

October - friends' birthday parties + mom's bday

Happy Bday, mom!

Yes, October is full of bdays. Had a good time, but not as good as before. I felt lonely, tired, changed.

October - no more Lady Marlboro

tea, anyone?

Turned out that feeling tired was not because am olding (yeah, that's right, am not old) but because my gall bladder decided it's high time to make its presence noticed. Needless to say that for the first time in my life I couldn't eat when I wanted, what I wanted and as much as I wanted. That felt sooo not like me. Also, need I describe the hell this not-so-vital organ gets you into? Bladder I command you to get back to your unfelt presence state! And stay the **** like that!

Oh, and this is how No more Lady Marlboro came to life.

November - fight over nothing

sweet memories

I was so tormented. Nothing helped. Au contraire. Well actually maybe the above helped.

November - rain

I 8 1 4 u 2

Bday is not a reason to be happy. Not when you're missing what's most important. Probably not even when you have it.

December - hushhh, do not awake the monster!

yes, home to you

Cause once awaken is hard to stop it. Down boy, down!

This is the time I miss you the most. Don't make it even harder, please.

In 2009 am grateful for my Egyptian July, for my mom's improved health, for the massage, for the jam that the Romanians' in Egypt forum is and for this blog.

2 faces

2009-12-10T20:18:00.001+02:00

Some people are just awesome. Those are the people that no matter what they do they do it right. It is always impressive to see a good professional, a well raised and mannered man/woman, a kind-hearted individual, a strong and confident yet modest person, whatever would commonly fall in the good people category. But when all these can be found in 1 single person it makes me feel so small and insignificant that, for a while, I'm stuck between speechless awe, sincere admiration and exhaustive self consciousness. It is such a beautiful yet bitter feeling. Bitter, not because I would be envious but because I'm my worst critic; and remember! the sum of all vices is always constant, i.e. either you are the envious or the over-self-critical type(or the indifferent type!boo!) none of these is better for you than the other. Just like sweetness, bitterness is there too. No doubt everything in this world comes two-faced. LITERALLY.

Life is never just pink!

However, awesome people are a true inspiration <3

Happy National Day, Romania!

2009-12-01T13:17:00.014+02:00

If you ever decide to learn something about the history of Romania, think twice! I am not trying to discourage you to do so. Better yet, if you manage your way in this junggle you'll have my cheers; in a cheerleading outfit with all the implied acrobatics. Is just that I'm finding it so dense and my brain is so history-proof!

So I decided to remember, refresh, re-learn or simply learn it bit by bit. Today seems like a perfect day to start. However, this is not a proper history lesson; I will keep it as short as possible, highlighting the basics.

Why 1st of December?

Let's not go back to Zalmoxis, but around the World War I, when:

- The Romanian Old Kingdom (as it was in 1913) included Wallahia and Moldavia united in 1859, to which Northern Dobruja was added in 1878 and Southern Dobruja in 1913.

- In 1918, first Bessarabia (March 27), then Bukovina (November 15/28) and then the last piece of the puzzle, Transylvania (December 1), united with the Old Kingdom giving birth to what is known as Greater Romania.

- Unfortunately after the World War II Southern Dobruja, Basarabia and Bucovina were again lost; up to this day, they still are.

- to quote Wikipedia (credit for the map too)"Romanian territory during the 20th century: purple indicates the Old Kingdom before 1913, pink indicates Greater Romania areas that joined after WWI and remained so after WWII, and orange indicates areas that joined Romania after WWI or were annexed after the Second Balkan War, but were lost after WWII. The small Hertza region, also purple but delimited, was part of the Old Kingdom before 1913, but was lost after WWII."

So there, we know.
Now, everyone, raise for the national anthem (with an English translation!)

On a more personal note...
[Despite my being an undutiful daughter, I still, somewhere deep, so deep-that-you-would-think-is-not, inside, care about you. Not because you would have the ability to feed me reasons to care but because, at some point in the history of your existence, some of my siblings sacrificed for my sake; and yours. However selfish you've been so hard and for so long trying to teach me to be, that lesson just wouldn't squeeze in. So, for the last time, save your breath. Your essence is vanishing and you are getting more and more transparent with each year.

I sincerely hope that I won't be here to testify the death of altruism and birth of egoism because I know is useless to hope that this won't happen.

May your spirit never trully fade, may your integrity never again be torn, may what you once had return.]

The genuine dream interpreter

2009-11-29T13:38:00.004+02:00

Disclaimer: do not believe everything you read in here; come to think of it, do not believe anything.

Last night I dream of fireworks that were crashing like bombs in the night while a train, deviated from its track, entered a clothes shop where I was being annoyed by a weird individual. I realized I have to save my sorry *** but I froze while hoping for a miracle to save me. Such a subtle thing my brain. Am telling you, when I say that I am me and myself, I am NOT quoting song titles! Is reality. There is always a discussion, a debate, a preaching, a push or pull up or down game that takes place inside. Consciously or not. Like this dream right here. A prefect example of an unconscious metaphoric lesson.
Obviously the myself was telling me that:
1. not all the pretty things/persons are good (fireworks transforming in bombs)
2. life is not a constant and certainly not predictable (train deviated from its track)
3. get it once and for all: you exercise attraction over all sorts of weirdos be IT(yes!) man or woman (me being bugged by a freaking weirdo)
4. in difficult and/or dangerous situations I freeze and hope for a miracle; boys and girls don't do this at home: is ******* dangerous! (me freezing while the deviated train is about to hit me)
5. as long as I don't get and change my attitude towards all these things, it will be tough and confusing(night)
I now know, cause I watched and learned:

I heart symbolism *grin*

Test: uploading a youtube video

2009-11-26T18:22:00.008+02:00

I do did done it! Hooray!!!

This song reminds me of you. Every time I miss you, I listen to it. Can you imagine how many times I've done that?

No more Lady Marlboro 2

2009-11-26T17:59:00.001+02:00

Disclaimer: As per Disclaimer under the No more Lady Marlboro 1 post

Yesterday, I celebrated my 5th week without cigs indulging in all sorts of things that can be scrunched.

I think this embracing a healthier life style still has to wait. After all, dropping 1 bad habit while picking up another one doesn't do anyone any good. As you can see am not fooling myself.

BUT, to my defense, I can honestly say that I don't see this new habit living to testify for too much of my life. I'll allow it as long as it helps me cure the nicotine addiction; something like a smaller wrong on a shorter time to knock off a greater wrong on a longer time. That sounds wise enough to me.

In order to keep up with what goes in, I've started exercising. Not so much fun when you do it in the comfort (right!) of your (right!) home, but the fun-oh-so-fun level can be significantly boosted by, say "You and your hand" screaming in your ears. The look on my cat's face every time I start torturing those lazy muscles is priceless; I can almost hear her saying "You ... you must be kidding...". I completely agree with you, my evil, selfish and ungrateful hair ball.

Damn transit is still an issue. But I haven't really done anything about it. Nature's ability to adapt must not be underestimated.

Of course I had the smoking dream again, only this time it was not involving menthol. Going healthier and healthier... in my dreams.

I can say that, at this point, nerves are doing much better. I heard all sorts of horror things; that apparently the 2nd and the 7th months are the hardest, despite one's thinking that the 1st one is. Am not going pessimistic though (world, stop shoving this description up my derriere!) and I'll believe it when I see it.

I'm still the confused queen of my domain, thank you.

Status of my smoke deprived existence:

Clean for: 5 weeks

Also quit: chips (in your face!)

Started: working out (in my cat's face!)

Practice: nerves taming

Kilos: another kg gained, which makes 2 in 5 weeks (*sigh* ...in my face)

I repeat: feel free to share your experience.

Oh, and don't bother spamming or advertising cause comments are -thank you blogger- moderated.

V D O

2009-11-24T23:27:00.003+02:00

If you are my type of individual and you're having your more than usual depressive and depressing evening, locked inside, in front of the pc, sipping water cause you quit coke (eventhough you kind of had a glass last Friday... ok and 1 on Sunday but you don't really know me so I don't have to pretend am all cool and brisk) and munching an apple cause you quit cigs (and no, I haven't had any since then), while brainstorming for the nth time with your other selves on how this life sucks and what a victim of the cruel chance you are, then you most likely need a brake from all that gloominess.

This would cheer you up: open browser>youtube>no reservations-saudi arabia in the search box>enter>choose 1 of 5>watch>then chose the following parts>enjoy. I did. Not your average Saudi Arabia presentation.

I am what I am

2009-11-24T18:08:00.002+02:00

When you told me, it was as if the world crashed down on my head. I was completely dumbfounded; and still am. It is with much effort that I gather now my thoughts and write them down hoping this will help me digest everything and find a solution.

Not only I could not believe my ears but I couldn't believe the way you said 3 as if it were 3 days or 3 months. I didn't see this coming; I expected you to start laughing and tell me you were joking. That didn't happen. I, then, expected you to realize just what your words really mean (at least to me if not to you) but no, that didn't happen also. Then, (and, for this, I won't ever again accept and take for granted people calling me a pessimist; how can you be a pessimist while trying to make things work? While hurting others while trying to make things work? While suffering while hurting others while trying to make things work? HOW, ON GOD'S NAME, CAN THAT BE CALLED PESSIMISM? What is then optimism? Hoping to do something? While nothing is really done?) I wanted you to tell me that this is how you thought of it but that you are willing to accept anything else as long as it might work. You didn't. I told you I felt like I was waking up from a dream (if what I had till then can be called a dream) only to find myself in a nightmare.

At least I know now where I stand, where you stand and where us is. Despite this crash-boom-bang of sorts, I do prefer an ugly truth instead of a pretty lill lie. My mistake, again; (is it really always my fault? If not, why am I always the one apologizing?) I should have brought this up earlier since it is of utmost importance to me; to us, eventually. Why do people presume???? If I could change anything right now, I'd disable the ability of the world to presume.

Anyway, I cannot, wish not and will not wait for another 3 years. At least if we could be sure of the outcome... I waited enough, I hoped enough, I tried too much and way too long to understand the many whys behind the happenings and given situations, I wasted my best, let's not say for nothing (because I did learn something out of it, because I do love you more everyday) but, I can honestly say, for the same results which bring me back to the starting point. I've been running in circles.

How have you been?

I know that when is about 2 you don't start sentences with I but it seems that not only we don't know what we want but we don't know what the other wants also. That's why am resuming to the hateful I, because I obviously have difficulties handling and understanding the vastness of the self not to mention the endless of the us or we. I wish I could do your part too, but with some things is absolutely impossible.

I don't know what you want anymore, I still don't know what I want but I am sure of what I don't want:

I don't want a life without you
I don't want to give anything up
I don't want to be a loser
I don't want anything else except the things I want
I don't want to wait for yet 3 more years

Either I am too hazardous and irrational or you are too weak. Or both. Or none.

In the end, does it really matter? Not as long as the result is the same.

We are what we are: not only endlessly apart but also utterly confused

No more Lady Marlboro 1

2009-11-03T19:00:00.008+02:00

Disclaimer!
This is not a post about: the negatives of smoking, the false positives of smoking, how to quit smoking, how to handle post quitting hardships, preaching over smoking/benefits of non-smoking, praising the non-smokers/blaming the smokers and anything else that would make the qualification and job of a specialist or the scope of an organization acting in this field. Seriously. This is just my right to freedom of speech, my admitting-writing-reading-and then acknowledge it all over again and this time it better be for good-therapy and a means to share my experience with the world. In other words: a blog.

When you quit smoking you better jot down, sooner rather than later, the truths about the death of your ultimate passion. They say it helps a lot when you see things black on white (or vice versa, right?). So, yeah, I decided to give it a try especially because my brain seems to function better (quite the opposite of what one would expect)these days and also because my blog suffers from lack of updates.

October 21, 2009 marks the beginning of the end of my affair with the cigarettes.Two weeks after taking and implementing the cruel yet necessary decision, the situation looks like this from my boots:

- I DO indulge in meals and sweets and drinks more often than I have ever been able to imagine and will ever admit to myself and others.

I am not a picky person when it comes to food. I can eat pretty much anything provided I am hungry. To correctly illustrate the current situation the last sentence should be rephrased as: I can eat pretty or ugly, more much than anything provided I can get my hands on it.

- I DO crave for things I've never enjoyed before;
I was never a fruits person: guess who's now an apple fan? Yup, moi. Milk was also not on my menu: guess who's a good girl now and drinks a cup of warm milk every evening? yes, still moi. Did I say I'm picky when it comes to tea? 2 T 2 22 pls! You name it, I drink it!

- I DO sweat like a paranoid while sleeping;
Sweat? when I'm not ill, not in summer, not practicing sports, not stressed, not ehuum, not anything? My sweet, first sign of healing up *big tears in the corner of my not-so-big eyes*

- I DO have the cigarette dream;
Oh yeaaaaah! My only guilty pleasure atm. (Colleague: - Fancy a fag? Me: - Had mine last night. It was a menthol.)

- I DO have a slower transit;
Best time to try the Danone Activia advertised miracle. Can I sue them on grounds of foul play if it does't work?
~~You don't know what lies 4 u~~
~~You're confused, you got no clue~~
~~Hello my name is Sue.~~
*mwaahahahahaha*

- I DO find the world looks different when not surrounded by smoke;
When at work, I won't ever feel again that I simply cannot concentrate anymore if I won't have a cig. Qualitative productivity checked
When at home, I have the time for things I've never had it before - where does all this time come from?
When out with friends, as much as incredible it could sound, I can and I do enjoy the time and no, I don't get bored; quite the opposite: my brain switches to the active mode and spits out means of entertainment as opposed to the passive mode it used to snooze in. Do not raise your flexible eyebrow; is just a simple process of changing the focus, a compensation for the lack of gesture. Does this mean that smarter people are defined by fewer gestures? Oaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaah!
When with myself, I can finally listen to all that I have to say, to sort things out in my head, to take a decision and stick to it. Somehow I traded the patience I had for others for this baby right here called the patience for myself. *me cuddles with my precious lill patience* Buh bye patience, welcome patience. (Bring in the hard core challenges and let the era of long time objectives begin! And while at it, let me kiss that ADHD good bye.) Damn this quitting can lift my confidence so high that I won't ever need to waste my money on a boob job!*wheeeew*

- I DO have a positive influence;
Determined at least 1 person to quit too by mere quiting. Don't worry, I'll take special care not to become your worst nightmare non-smoker. I've seen a few too many.

- I DO have the support of both non-smokers AND smokers!
Even though the nons are more noisy than the others.

- I DO wish it would be easy;
But is not. Get it!

- I DO feel inspired;
Let it last forever!

Status of my smoke deprived existence:
Clean for: 2 weeks

Also quit: sodas
Started: drinking tea and milk, eating fruits (and too much everything else!)
Practice: none (must absolutely go back to practice; and, if possible, more than before)
Kilos: 1 kg gained; *sigh* here we go...

Feel free to share your experience whether you are a smoker, ex-smoker or a non-smoker living in the world of smokers.
More on this subject, to come.

Concurs Lifestyle

2009-02-28T23:58:00.005+02:00

Proba 4

Pasta with veggies

2009-02-17T19:22:00.018+02:00

Guess what? Food again!
Wanna blame someone? Then blame my bored stomach (same dishes over and over again does't make any sense, does it?) and Ina. Her recipe here.
So, as you could easily guess from the title, today we are drooling over some pastas with vegetables. Seeing that am not much of a meat fan, this recipe is greatly appreciated. Fanks Ina *bigshowingtheteethsmile*
Ehuuum...ahmmm well peeps, take your chef cap and do your thing!

Ingredients:

- some sort of pasta: I used mezze penne tricolore from Barilla as I did not have Ina's first choice (pasta made out of non-refined ingredients??? I don't know the English name for this. Any suggestion?)

- 1 eggplant (didn't have this either and replaced it with more of the next ingredient)

- 1 zucchini (to make up for the missing eggplant, I used 3 zucchini ...

... and a leek - ha! don't ask me why)

- 2 pieces of garlic

- 1 hot pepper (ehmm...ok, so what harm is in using a pickled hot pepper? zero)

- 2 peppers (I used 2 red ones instead of different colour ones but...but...1 deviation from the original recipe or 100 is not thaaaaaaaaaaat much of a deal...is it?)

- 4 or 5 tomatoes

+ salt and powder pepper and Parmesan (I didn't use Parmesan but another sort of cheesy thing and I like to call all these deviations by 2 words: personal touch, thank you.)

Moving on to the preparation phase:

- cut the eggplant and zucchini in fine slices and add salt; leave them like that for a while so that they can leak the liquids out.

- slice the rest of the ingredients too (not that complicated ha?)

sliced leek

very fine sliced garlic and hot pepper

sliced pepper

smashed tomatoes

- put olive oil in a pan and add the zucchini and the eggplant; let them fry for about 5 min without covering them and then cover them for another 5 min

- are you still with me? Ok, then add the garlic and the peppers and stir for another 5 min.

- now is about time to add the hot pepper and the tomatoes leaving them 10 min to boil; the mixture gets pretty steaming mad as you can see; the cam also

All in all, in approximately 30 min you can say "Voila!"

She has this freaky smell so I was immediately busted

*bigyawn* nighty night all and tasty dreams everyone

Japanese pls!

2009-01-31T20:02:00.023+02:00

I'm your Sunday Picasso

Last Sunday I finally decided is about time to try my hand on pancakes. So I checked the supplies and figured I'd be able to produce Ina's Japanese pancakes. Long live Ina and her super drooper yummilicious blog. You will find the recipe there and many more but you need to be able to understand Romanian. So, without much ado here it is:

Mind you, it's my 1st time.

Getting all the ingredients together

And using a small ladle

pour it into a heated frying pan

And when is brownish, you turn it on the other side

For that, use a flattened spoon

They start to pile up pretty soon

I chose to top them with apricot jam (yes Doc, it is good :D)

and cream
(that's a liquid one to be mixed and transformed into a solid one)

Tada!

Last, but not least
my behind the scenes assistant, Juju

Have a yummy day everyone!

Roses are red

2009-01-19T18:33:00.009+02:00

Why we (the Romanians) never learn about African and Asian literature? I mean in school, prior to uni or college or whatever after high school. Our literature world map shows only Europe, the Americas (is Australia there too *big question mark*) and Russia (obviously!). The only thing I remember being studied from Asian literature is Epic of Gilgamesh . And this thanks to the fact it is one of the earliest writings of mankind. Thus my question: why don't we study African and Asian literature? Does it make any sense? No. Not to me. We loose a lot. And to exemplify this:
Today I will talk about Orhan Pamuk's My name is Red, my best reading in 2008. I cannot even describe the feeling you get while reading it.... I call it the oriental version of the Romanian Fratii Jderi (t. The Marten Brothers) because, putting aside the differences: in form, narrative technique, age of writings, cultural environment, location and many others, they have a lot of common points too. And because the similitude stroke out more than the differences, to me, they will always be the separate placenta twins :D So, if you are Romanian and you enjoyed the jderi, you might as well taste the Red because: it is an amazingly well crafted window into the Turkish and Middle Eastern world, which takes the reader back in the 16th century, a portrait of the art world under the impressive shadow of long gone masters of the illustration, a detective story in search of truth, The truth and personal truth, glimpse into the inner animate and inanimate worlds and a one of a kind 1st person narration. Same old ingredients which make up a whole new story. A different one. A red one. A Nobel laureate one.

Hello world!

2009-01-16T19:48:00.001+02:00

Am here. Are you there?